Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Very Super Important Special Report

Top 10 Para-Church Youth Ministers

1 Nate Rice

Nate is the super important junior high Director at a super famous camp (Billy Graham was there once). Nate has thought about writing some books and contributed some thoughts to his wife about articles she has written for numerous magazines. He is an editor for Nick’s homework and the founder of

2 Eric Venable

Eric is the really important V.P. of YouthFront, a 60 year-old, interdenominational youth ministry that strives to serve the local church and play as much golf as possible with a lot of really important people.

3 Mark Oestreicher

Marko, the recent recipient of the prestigious “Thinking Blogger Award”, could have made this list with his eyes closed. Not only is he the President of Youth Specialties, he’s a client. Note: Writing a series of books with the really super important award winner Kurt Johnson.

4 Johnny Scott

Johnny Scott is the Director of the big time traveling show “Jr High Believe” weekend Events by Christ In Youth. Not only an amazing para-church minister but Johnny is a bona-fide rock legend. Heard of Stryper? So has Johnny.

5 Andy Jack

While Andy is currently serving as a junior high pastor, he deserves mention on this list for two reasons. First, he was voted 21st on the Church Report’s Top 20 Youth Pastors list and second, he did speak at a para-church event this year which sort-of makes him a super important para-church leader. Way to go Andy! Congrats!

6 Sean Meade

With a title like “National Coordinator”, there is no question Sean deserves to be on this super important list. Sean works one day a year but it’s a super hard day of work.

7 John Wilson

John barely made this list. As the Executive Director of the Lake Ave Community Foundation, we’re not sure exactly what John does but it’s most likely super important.

8 Jason Raitz

Jason is the Founder of Project 311 which serves to….oh wait….never mind.

9 Ron Luce

It's hard to believe that Ron Luce didn't end up higher on this list. A para-church mega star, Ronny (as his very close friends call him), is hard at work creating a para-military force of youth that are fighting the good war against the evils of Culture. Among other things, Ron's got a knack for coming up with hip names for ministries such as "Teen Mania".

10 Madonna

Music icon, Film Star and recently, para-church minister. Millions of youth (and drunk 34 year old house wives) crammed stadiums this past year to hear the gospel according to Madonna. Using a well lit cross, she used music and dance to spread the good news. She could easily move up on this list in future years!


Blogger Angie said...

Congratulations Nate! You really deserved this. I'd like to have seen Madonna score a little higher but at least she made the list.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Balliver Jones said...

Thanks. I was actually hoping you would rank this year, especially being that your a female para-church minister. But, I this list only has room for one woman.

8:57 PM  
Blogger Kurt Johnston said...


9:10 PM  
Anonymous Eric Venable said...

I'm the Scott Rubin of Para...


9:35 PM  
Blogger amber. said...

I'm sure it's simply an oversight, but I'm surprised that Pastor Murph didn't make the list given that he's now employed by (and RELATED to) the super important Tim LaHaye.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Andy Jack said...

What a wonderful surprise. I'm tickled pink. Is there any kind of honorium that goes with this?

7:34 AM  
Anonymous mikey said...

i'm with amber. murph is a superGod of yesteryear youth min. please reconsider...

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Scott Rubin said...

Venable, you turd. Being the Scott Rubin of Para ain't so bad!! (Plus, I'm only 1/3rd of 2nd place, remember...and you're the whole deal)

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Todd said...

I'm terribly offended that you would poke fun at an honest attempt to honor an oft-unappreciated group of ministers. The list also serves to inform me as an event planner on who is worthy to speak at events and who is worth hearing from.

The fact that you can mock such a list really says something about your view on ministry.

J/K, LOL and all that jazz, by the way. Nice job on your list. I'm happy for Sean, though I do think he should qualify for the fourth spot - but that's just me.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Lars Rood said...

Nate- I find it difficult to believe that there were so few Youth Workers from Texas on your list. Granted you Gave Ronny some props but I've got to believe you are a bit CAliCentric in your listing.

(Smile) I ain't Texan.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Melissavina said...

I think Barbara Boxer should be on this list. Teens love her. And pizza.

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so proud...I'm feeling verklempt.I personally would have placed you at #7, but I'm pleasantly surprised. The tradion continues. I'm going to go call your father.
I always knew you had it in you...even when you spent most of your childhood alone in your room painting figurines.

5:08 PM  

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